Graduating from mascot to scootie is the new awesome

Dear applicant [betsy heywood],

Death Scab for Scootie would like to thank you for your recent application, requesting to be promoted from the rank of gang mascot to official DSFS contributing member. Especially convincing was the set of photos that you enclosed, showing you hard at work as Gang mascot. It appears from the picture that you might even have a little bird terd on your hand. Such sacrifice! Believe us, your efforts to support the Gang have not gone unnoticed.


Equally convincing was your shot of your current Gang scooter situation - you make a valid point, that two scooters hardly makes you a Gang. At least not a very menacing (read: popular) one.


Therefore, after careful review of your case, we are happy to tell you that your promotion is finalized and you can now officially call yourself a full-fledged member of the Death Scab for Scootie gang. You will be entrusted with a scooter or your very own immediately! We made sure that it was identical in every way to the scooters of your comrades so as to not provoke any petty rivalries, and to make you pay close attention to where you parked your scoot. And so that you can appear especially gang-like and menacing (read: nerdy) when driving down the streets of San Francisco together.

Another perk you may appreciate is that you are also now authorized to incorporate the official Death Scab logos on any article of clothing that you desire. Current options include:

or


Wearing some sort of Death Scab paraphernalia at all times is, of course, encouraged.


Though as the newest member of the Gang you may still be called upon to provide snacks for the rest of the Scooties, from here on out, at least you are only required to carry your own helmet. We welcome you with open (but still tough-looking) arms.


Yours in the pursuit of good mileage and plentiful parking,
The Scabby Powers That Be