the new awesome

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Russian Consulate is the new awesome

So, I had to pick up my Russian Visa today because I am going to Moscow and St. Petersburg next month to attend to some business and take a lot of personal photos with Emily Cox.

As it turns out, there are a lot of things you need to do before they will even think about letting you come into the country.

First, you need to be invited. To the country. As in, someone has to send you an official form telling you that they would love to have you come visit them in Russia. (Luckily these can be obtained by just slipping someone at a Russian travel agency $20).

On my official invitation to Russia, I know I didn't want to check the "Male" box, so I checked the only other option, which I can only hope means "Female."


The application also demands pretty much your entire life history, including some probing questions about any special arms training you may ever have had. They don't give you a whole lot of room to explain yourself, though.


Of course, they want a passport sized photo attached to your application too. I decided to just take mine myself and print it out on my computer, but I managed to get the size wrong the first try. I tried to use the same paper to print out another one, but I put the paper in the wrong way the second time I ran it through and ended up printing on top of my first photo. I caught it before it got too far along, but not before I gave myself an awesome bang beard.

I didn't want to bother printing another one so I just left it, thinking maybe the Consulate guys would appreciate it. After all, this is Russia, right?

15 Comments:

  • At 3:54 AM, Blogger Erica said…

    lol. you're leaving again!?! girl, i need your day job.

     
  • At 7:40 AM, Blogger Corinne said…

    holy cow that band beard is seriously great. you should print the picture out one more time and this time give yourself a fuzzy russian hat. then it would be perrrrrfect.

     
  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger two forks said…

    please tell me you are going to do some little russian folk dance classes while you're over there...

     
  • At 10:27 AM, Blogger Aluwicious said…

    ok, that's hilarious. Bex I'm totally cracking up...i'm on the floor.

     
  • At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Nathan said…

    Haw.

    If I did that, it would ERASE my beard.

    I should try it.

     
  • At 4:30 PM, Blogger mandarin said…

    this picture could save you in a sticky situation. for example, someone is mad at you for doing something so characteristically "american"--show them the passport. they will either laugh or be frightened by the boldness of that beard.

     
  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger plainoldsarah said…

    i'm wondering if they haven't updated their forms since they were part of the ussr - that question cracked me up as much as your lovely facial hair. i guess you now know what you'd look like if you were a man.

     
  • At 6:52 AM, Blogger ThomCarter said…

    Mail order Male Husband!!!!! That is great . . . why got to the USSR to get a Mall order Male Husband when there are plenty of sexy dudes in Jersey!

     
  • At 8:29 AM, Blogger f*bomb. said…

    Your beard just made me laugh so hard I started coughing like an old Russian woman in winter.

     
  • At 12:18 PM, Blogger Senja said…

    hilarious!! :) moscow is awesome, i've only seen it on pictures, but if you have any trouble with the language or anything else, write me, my husband served in moscow. you can send me a message on 'you know where'. bets should know.

    if not - have a great time, can't wait to see the pictures!

     
  • At 5:56 PM, Blogger paul said…

    we went to moscow and st. petersburg. the locations were beautiful and unforgettable. the moscow subway is like one big museum of ussr history. one disconcerting part was the government official harassing us for not get a stamp in our passport from a hotel every two days. hours later and after handing over fistfuls of cash, we escaped his grasp.

    it was a great trip, but we were really glad to get back on free soil as the police presence was causing me slight claustrophobia...

    the beard is nice.

     
  • At 10:54 AM, Blogger MLE said…

    You crack me up! I love your bang beard. LOVE it.

     
  • At 5:00 PM, Blogger Tannerama said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At 5:03 PM, Blogger Tannerama said…

    In communist Russia passport applies for you! What a country.

    sincerely
    Yakov Smirnov

     
  • At 3:38 PM, Blogger Zachary said…

    Don't worry...you selected "Female" on the application. The special arms training...that is only needed if you find yourself in "special" situations. And St. Petersburg is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Be sure to check out the Nevsky River, The Mission home on the Moika river (Building 11), and the Hermitage Palace (four blocks down from the mission home).

     

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