San Diego Weddings are the new awesome

So, obviously I missed out on quite a bit of fun in my apartment since i ditched my roommate and our houseguests and flew down to San Diego for my friend Charity's wedding over the weekend. I did all sorts of things while down in Southern California, but because I went for the wedding, that is what this blog is going to be about.

Behold! This is what matrimonial bliss looks like, for all you people that were wondering:


It was a pretty standard event. The weather was cooperative, the happy couple said all the right things, and no one fainted.

The bride wore a beautiful custom-made dress, though the dramatic gathering of fabric at her knees reduced her mobility to turning in small semi circles, which made it fun to watch her try to dance when the party got started.


I brought my little brother to the festivities. He is stationed down in Coronado at the Navy base, training to be a Navy Seal. Mostly I brought him so that if anyone tried anything funny with me at the wedding, he could break their arms.


We learned that there are a few small guiding principles that if followed, are guaranteed to make your wedding reception a raging success:

Provide a variety of foods for your guests
I knew that the groom worked for a chocolate fountain company, so I had been secretly hoping that each person would walk in to find their own personal fountain at their place-setting. It turns out that I just had to settle for three huge chocolate fountains in the foyer, each spouting either dark, milk or white chocolate onto a plethora of fruits, angel food cakes, or crème puffs.

Dream. Come. True.

Strictly adhere to your wedding colors
The rest of the food was quite tasty as well, though they did serve purple mashed potatoes, because that is the bride's favorite color.
Sure enough, the potatoes matched the dresses of the bridesmaids perfectly, though I believe we all thought it a rather odd accessory.

Never skimp on the entertainment
Rather than a boring old four-string quartet or a band, they had gotten an electric cello player. And not just any electric cello player. This one looked like he had just stepped straight off the pages of a harlequin romance novel - long white coat and black leather pants, towering on enormous black boots and looking quite tan with his long, flowing blonde hair. Apparently when he is not doing weddings, he also wears a full metal breast-plate and carries his own wind machine to really give him the ultra-romantic look while he completely tears his cello apart.

I know I was probably supposed to be paying attention to the wedding vows and cake cutting and all that other stuff, but all I could do was stare at the cello player and his dramatic overtures the entire time. I made sure to grab his card (appropriately, he can be found at LordoftheCello.com). Do yourselves a favor and watch some of his videos to see this guy in action.

And that is how you get married. Thanks for the pointers, Charity.