Kids that curse are the new awesome

I just wanted to point out that Granteeny is not the only brilliant child in town. My niece Allie is really advanced when it comes to forming expletives. She's also really advanced at looking super cute.

Fighting the February Factor is the new awesome

I am glad it is finally the last day of this month. February is my least favorite month of the year, because without fail, it seems to be the time of year for me that everything feels a little out of sorts. My friends in college and I named it the February Factor - if ever there is a time of year to feel a little stressed, depressed, or just kind of not yourself, it seems to be February.

I can't quite figure out what brings it about every year. It is probably a combo of the after-holiday slump, prolonged chilly winter weather, all those breakups right after the holidays and before valentines day, realizing that you haven't kept any of your new years resolutions yet, or some wacky yearly alignment of stars.

I am proud to say that I handled the February Factor better than some people this year ...


still. good riddance, February. I am ready to really start 2007.

Goldmines are the new awesome, part two

Dear Roommate,

I know you were kind of bragging the other day about all the awesome stores that you have within walking distance of your new work. I don't mean to make you jealous, but here in downtown Oakland, we have our own "goldmine" of shops to walk to during lunch.


in your face.

Collecting Art is the new awesome

I've am highly aware that I have some talented friends, and have made attempts to collect some of their art work over the past year or so. Among the favorites in my collection are:
Amanda Lynch

Mark Elliot

Jared Purrington

Mike Kelly




















But I finally have the crowning piece for my collection. A Granteeny.

I know I have made mention of this blog before, but didn't really give it the shoutout that it truly deserved, because it really is one of the best blogs out there. Granteeny, a 3 year old artist living in Seattle, depends on his dad to post his recent works and offer a critical analysis.

My piece is called "When the Sun Grows Up He'll Get Blue," and the accompanying critique reads: "The first tinges of blue have already started to seep into the sun's core, sapping it of its warmth. Its last rays hurdle off into space. Is this a depiction of the sun's eventual death; the slow transformation into a black dwarf? Or could it be a metaphor for that particular form of teenage malaise that is so prevelent in small towns? Either way, it is a weighty subject for a 3 year old, but it is handled deftly."

Some of my other favorite works of his that you should probably check out:
An Alien Named Can Penrod Chan
A Guy That Doesn't Want to Crash into That Star
Fluxus Performance #2
Untitled metapainting

Don't be afraid to check out the archives. This site is brilliant.

Goldmines are the new awesome

My first week of work is just about finished and it's been great. I miss Kat and Jules though. It's not every day you meet life-long friends like them at a job.


In the category of things I don't have to miss is my access to Mollie Stone's grocery store. If you've never been to Mollie's it's a sort of upscale, expensive but really awesome for lunch and specialty grocery items kind of place. And there was one right by my old work that I'd go to all the time. Well, guess what's across the street from my new work...


As if Mollie's isn't enough...the Bayhill Shopping Center is a serious Goldmine for lunch hour time killing. Here's what else it has to offer:

Starbucks
Peets
Carl's Jr.
Taco Bell
31 Flavors
Jamba Juice
A pizza by the slice place
A Vietnamese restaurant
A sushi restaurant
Long's Drugs
Video Game Store (extra good for me because I'm a total gamer)
Dry Cleaners
Nail Salon
Tanning Salon
Gym
French Bakery
Beauty Supply

And that's just the stores I can remember off the top of my head.

Memory Lane is the new awesome

One of the subtle hints your parents might give you to let you know that you shouldn't ever plan on moving back in with them is destroying your childhood bedroom. I'm not talking just putting a new bedspread on the bed and calling it the "guest room" ... but actually tearing down walls. Over the weekend I found myself in LA dedicating most of my time there cleaning out my childhood bedroom so that they could take down the wall that divided the upstairs and turn the two small rooms back into one large cushy family room.

I got right to work unearthing artifacts of my teenage years. I spent hours sorting through old photos and marveling at the superb sense of style my friends had in the 80's, trying on old cheerleading outfits and tacky velvet prom dresses with the matching dyed satin shoes, reading love letters from old boyfriends (all of whom are married with several children by now), discovering evidence of a strange obsession with small, cutesy frog figurines...

and painful attempts at art from my time as an aspiring oil painter...

as well as finding old relics from my college days...

It was amazing to me how every little thing in that room had a flood of memories attached to it, and it made it really difficult to throw anything away.

The highlight was probably the time capsule that we had hidden inside the wall 20 years ago when we had it constructed in the first place. We knocked some premature holes in the wall until we found the little box that my 11 year old self had filled with things that I thought that "people in the future" would want to know about.

There were my favorite cartoon shaped erasers, a pair of my old eyeglasses, an article from the newspaper announcing the big earthquake that had just happened in San Francisco and some pages torn out of a JC Penny catalog, which I considered the epitome of fashion at the time.

I had also written a note to explain the time capsule, and obviously not having much of a concept for how soon we would be tearing that wall down, wrote "Hello future generations. By the time you read this, I will probably be dead."

I managed to keep about 3 boxes of memories, and as I left, I turned to my parents and in my best Reagan to Gorbachev voice said, "Mom and Dad, tear down this wall."

It's the end of an era.

Death scab for scootie is the new awesome

You may remember that we have a scooter gang here in SF called Death Scab for Scootie. Right now there are three members. Rebecca is the president. Steve is the VP and I'm the mascot. As the mascot I get to perform lots of important tasks including, but not limited to, meeting minutes, snack patrol, bird-terd-cleaner-offer, and helmet holder.


Sometimes I get a little annoyed that I don't have a scooter of my own so I have to just ride on the back of one of theirs, but they both keep telling me that if I work hard I might get to drive one of their scooters around the block within the next couple of months or so.


The great thing about being in DSFS means you can go to all the hard-to-get-to neighborhoods in SF that you typically avoided before because parking and public transit are no good. The other night we all went to North Beach and had dinner at Giordano Brothers and parked right out front! And because I had done such a great job shining everyone's helmets earlier that night, I even got to have a bite of Steve's sandwich and one french fry.


Steve and Rebecca each had their own big sandwich which didn't bother me because I know it takes way more energy to drive a scooter than to just ride on the back of one.



And this past weekend, after I carried Steve's backback when we went to see the buffalo...


And made him a snack at the beach...


He let me take a 5 minute nap which was such a nice break for a busy mascot like myself.


All this hard work might bother me if I didn't get to see views like this all the time.

"Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" Karaoke Birthdays are the new awesome

I know everyone complains about getting older, but honestly? I kind of love getting older and being able to throw much more awesome parties than ever before. I am pretty sure that my teenage self never thought that a bunch of 30 year olds could still have such a good time.

This weekend, Keith Paugh, Matt Youngberg and Grant Porter all had a birthday, and to celebrate they rented out a great little art space called Epoxybox and threw a dance party that would have made mike kelly proud.


Even with the hardcore security of Christina's Private Party sign, we still had random people walk in off the street to join the party, but most of them left when they saw there was only free pop-rocks instead of free alcohol.

And the cake was pretty much the best thing i had ever seen

The extra special theme of the party was inspired by this brilliant exhibit that Broek and I had seen at the SFMOMA. The piece features people in cities around the world performing karaoke versions of Smiths songs in front of tacky wildlife backdrops. I can't explain why it is so amazing to watch these people singing with perfect morissey intonation in front of the false intimacy of a camera, but it was captivating. Broek and I watched the entire reel, and then decided that we had to throw a party based around the same idea.

We recreated the magic with a Michael Jackson theme.


So we sent out invites with this image: (also a piece in the SFMOMA)


And posted this sign on the wall:

And set up a camera and karaoke machine in a little back room and had all of our friends perform their chosen songs in front of it.


At the end of the night, we brought the birthday boys into the room and showed them what we had been doing for them, and promised them the DVD of all their friend's performances. They graced us with a performance of their own.

(steven has video of this, and maybe we can convince him to upload it to youtube, because you probably want to see these guys' moves in action)

Happy birthday, boys. You make getting older look pretty good.

All my valentines are the new awesome

With one precious week off in between jobs I decided to head out to Utah for some quality time with all my valentines.


Jake needed a science project so I suggested we do the mentos/soda thing that I tried before with Nathaniel.


Maybe you remember last time I had issues with freaking out during the soda explosion so I didn't get a good picture. Well I'm happy to report the same thing happened this time. Picture or not, I can report that diet cola works the best.



Oh hey, for those of you who have been on the edge of your seats since this post, my hair is just about blond.


And finally, a little valentine present purchased for myself. And if anyone cares to challenge me, my current record is 181 on the red/black bomb mini game on Super Mario Brothers and my record on the groundhog whacking mini game is 82.